realize

if you could just realize the crap that i go through just for you. seriously, everyday i wish you could prove me wrong. but sometimes you just do the same thing over and over again. i dont want to get to the point where im sick and tired of it. because i want you to be able to learn from your mistakes. i want you to realize im that differnt girl. you should know, im not like your others. i swear i treat you better than you treat me... if you could only try a bit harder. if you could just please understand where im getting at. i can hardly get in touch with you. only during school. but hey your busy im busy. i told you so many times that how you act infront of me with others reflects the kind of chick i am. i dont want to be known as the girl that lets someone do that to her. because im not like that. i understand you so much that i wish you could understand me. if you could just give me some respect then everything will be alright. dont just say yeah yeah yeah. because that doesnt help at all. im not only doing this for myself, i just want people to see the other side of you, the good side. not the side everyone knows you by. you know i care so much that i want you to be by my side like i am for you... dont make it harder as it already is.

historian

eversince ive joined student council, ive been busy. there are reasons why ive joined it. sure it irritates the heck out of me being a member. but, i love it. no matter what i love being the "unofficial member" i dont get put on the spot. but i end up helping out more than i should. its funny tho, im always there compare to the others. not saying it as a bad thing but i dont know why i just like being involved. by being involved, i can have people see that im worth something. not just a smart ass. not just as the goody goody. but someone who could be a well rounded person meaning that whatever crap people throw at me, i can prove them i can do it.

recently i made a video on respect. it started out as saras idea. we were suppose to make a skit on stage. but then either one of us, sara or i had said we should just make it as a video. so we did. we had to plan this in like what two days? first day of recording was kinna hectic. there was homecoming committee having their own meeting and we had to do the respect video. as i went home to edit it, it was too short ! so then the day before the assembly we took last minute videos ! lucky my homie, vincent and erickson came along for the video. i thought up ideas we should act about respect. and then i went home and edited all ! woah hard work i tell you ! but its okay, the project came out good i swear :)

so as we played it during assembly for sophomores, the thing got cut. cuz we didnt have enough time to show it. i wish we couldve showed the whole thing. my teachers came up to me and asked "werent you in that video" "good job". i felt proud. i asked my friends if it was funny or bad they said it was funny and wished it didtn end fast lol. but miss said we could show it next assembly. so now i posted it up on youtube. i cant belive it.... I GOT LIKE a LOT OF VIEWS in just one day??!?!?! i was soo surprised :)

being the perosn in council aint that bad. just as long as you can be able to understand your members and deal with them. i mean their family to me :) always. right?!??! hehe.

respect video:

reflect on classes.

schools been good i guess. buisness class is fun with the people i have in it. yeah so what i kiss ass to the teacher ;) but its fun, somehow people always just go to me for help. i feel what is that word? uhm honored? i really am becoming buisness like. i think that in the past i wouldnt have the guts to stand up and talk about a career or explain to the class what is for hw. .

english class is awesome too ! i love the people that are in it. they make me feel energenic. english to me is always boring, but when you have the funniest people in it, then you good to go ;) i dont think its hard but its honors itll come harder .... but anyways, i get lazy doin journals, and i just wing at the answers hopin to give what she wanted so i can get a good grade lol.

algebra two. damn it ! its a hate and love relationship. the teacher goes to fast but shes on it at the same time. i mean yeah she annoys the heck out of us but i think its good at times. i actually pay attention and actually understood math. so lucky i just came from algebra from summer. it was worth it ! tahaha. in that class i have people who help me so thats good ;)

meal management is the best ! dude, i eat in that class cuz we cook ! ahah. i dont eat lunch so its worth the wait for period four. the last period of the day. i look foward to this class everyday and it sure works to help me keep goin throught the school day tahaha. i have funny people in that class, and trouble makers. its good to have them, cuz otherwize its kina boring. we dont do work much, just cook. but therell be times when teacher just pops us quizes and such. i could talk a lot about this class, but i dont want to type a lot more ahaha.

you dont know

what im going through. at the moment i wish You were the one i was talking to on the phone everyday. but i dont want to expect anything from you anymore. everyday i wish that i could talk on and on about what im going through. moms making me worried. something might be wrong... and i cant do anything but wait for the results from her. my moms been through a lot. she deserves better. thats why im really trying my best to not spend a lot. dad told me not to. dads making me feel bad about spending. sometimes hes the hypocrit. spending too much on food. like why not on clothes? lmfao i sound so selfish. i dont want to be selfish... hes expecting to go philipines and build my grandmas house because grandmas being a bitch about it ! now he wants me to go philipines during school? I CANT. i need to reach my goal. to be able to get the gpa that i want. to be able to prove everyone. to make them proud. dad told me its alright, if i make it, i make it. but the fact is, i know i can and i want to, theres no doubt in my mind what i want to get when i graduate. ma works hard and i need her to say that it paid her off. dad does too. i really want you to know what is going on. i want to know more about you too... everyday i hurt... you just dont know it. i know i have a lot of friends to go too, but "I need you to be by my side. I want you to be mine oh mine For all time"

i miss

the times when it was just you and me, literally. yes, im thankful i get to see you every school day. but, your busy. the only time i have time with you is in the morning,recess,and lunch. sometimes your not even there at lunch. which makes me feel gloomy. i dont want you to forget that im still here. like i said, i wish i was your main prioritie. but, i cant be selfish. im not selfish actually. i understand you. i wish you could understand the way im feeling too. you may not give the best advice a guy could give but i know you try to be there. i cant blame you. sometimes, i feel like you dont want to make time? but in the end, i have to put these negative thoughts out and focus on the real reasons why your like that. i love you for you. no one sees you the way i do. thats why they always question me about you. but idgaf, im tired of them. times like this, i think a lot. i dont let what people say get to me because i always go to you with the truth. and i trust you... but at a certain point, i want you to try harder or find a way to get these moments...because i miss it.

people

just dont understand why. their always assuming shet now a days. shouldnt we learn from mistakes and move the fck on ? i have, thats why i dont belive the crap that people tell me. i dont feel guilty or worried at all. as long as theirs trust with him then im all good. why should i be affected by the words that are spoken. you dont know why i ever chose uhm, then you should shut up. past is the past. build a bridge and get over it. dont take your anger on him or talk crap just because your a hater. i mean i cant blame you, but i seriously dont give a fuck. just keep it to yourself. if you seen it actually happen, then say it to my face. just stop telling me crap that dosent make sence. you dont know him like i do. people dont always stay the same right? because people CAN CHANGE FOR THE better. so i suggest YOU SHOULD TOO. stop trying to rip it all apart. because i aint a kid, i know what the fckn world is influencing. dont blame uhm for being immature when you act immature too. check yoursellf dear before you point at others. i listen to both sides of the story, then what i feel is how i feel. deal with it...

happy

18th day of the month <33 i remember the day you asked me. it was funny, but you were actually serious about us. im glad that youve stuck with your word, so did i.

today woke up got ready, wore a dress to school for the first time. good thing its hot, it gives me a purpose to wear it ! hahah. anyways, i think he forgot about the day? nah idk. but its okay i guess haah. hmm, classes went by fast. lunch came, student council meeting. then during period four, baked cookies again ! yumm ! hehe. after school, i didnt get to hang with him. i dont know where he went, he didnt let me know. so, i just went to a homecoming meeting. it was good i guess. when everyone left, had most of the girls in student council stayed. missing dwayne and melanie. we took pics cuz we were bored, and we were making songs for song contest hehe. hmm... then i went home. oh wells ttyl ;)

pictures of the day:

081509

so today i woke up in nicoles place. i slept good i guess? but only a little lols. her ma' bought cini minis from burger king. yumm! then after wards aunty took me back home. once i got home i chnaged and went to sleep lmfao. i left my phone at coles house, but lucky my mom got it back when she went to pick up uncle lols. later he called me and told me about his fone and yata yata. then went back to sleep again. hoo i really was tired ! next, nicole came and i got up and went shower. tahaha i know i so lazy. then afterwards party soon started. fam bam and people came. was good i gues. neighbor kids were around, was quite at first but all good afterwards. hmm then i ate. good food as always. hmm what else? fckn nicole slept in my bed lmfao ! i was tired too and i almost went to sleep but i haad to wait till cole went home. was like already 12 when i fell asleep ahah. wells, that was my day as of 081509

pics from that day:

well as of today today, 081609, im preety tired. but yet i have hw to do ! fckn serious?! i wanna sleep. i think i am then do hw later. hahaha. im such a lazy ass right now. errr. school tomaro ? fck lmfao. days go by so fast? seriously man. peace out ;)

081409

woke up early i guess. got called too much in the morning ? tahaha jk. anyways, school went by fast. i love period four, my classmatees are funny and i get to eat in that class cuz we bake :) its fun tee hee. after school, went over to coles house. i slept over her place for the first time man ! thats so cool :) hehe. but then we went alas first with tiff. we ate genki again ahah. i ate a lot, so did nicole. tiff was limited but still good food. ho nah, i was full after eating sheet ! but worth my time and money. then after that we went to forevers, i bought a dress. something to wear for a special day or something? hehe. then aunty picked us up and we headded to their place. nicole lemme borrow some clothes and i slept earlier than her man. i was so tired lmfao. oh well, that was my day.

btw im typing this the day after cuz i didnt have time to type it on that day. so read as if it is the actual date lmfao. cuz you know me, i like to blog

pics from the day :

today

woke up this morning, did the morning routine. talked to him about shet that i felt. i felt better after ;) thens, the day went by fast. hung out with him ^_^ hehe. meal managment class is fun ! i get funny people where i sit and in my group. cooking is fun ! and it tastes good :) im thankful that i end the day with this class ahha. only for this semester tho damn it ! haha.

after school, went to alas with cole and tiff. i had to go orthodentist ahah. for braces duh. i got it tightend as always and its red now. doctor sed i get to take them braces off after TWO more damn appointments ! cant wait, but yet scared hahah. after dentist, tiff left she had to go home. and cole and i ate at genki sushi :) ohhh gosh i felt hungry ! and the food was delicious. finally i didnt feel like wasting my food. oh and im getting used to freakin chopsticks ! tahaha. it was nicoles first time today at genkis hehe. hmm... thats mostly it of my day. gotta do hw nows... BLEH SCHOOL ERRR ahah.

pics from today:

typically...

its been school school school. hws are given out everyday. every morning i look foward to having some time with you. but then, you have your priorities. sometimes i wish you would make me a priorities. yeah, im so jealouse that they get to have you more than me. i dont get it tho. i feel kinna stupid. on top of it all, family gives me stress. ma's sick ? shes not telling me something. im scared... dads worryin TOO much for my health. i always tell him im not fuckn anerexic how ever you spell that. sister is always pissing me off everyday? at least i still have my ppg. but, sometimes, i just feel My Feelings dont matter. i help everyone, i mean it. and then, people think that i dont care about them just because i miss some calls or something? i mean, i have a life too. i have a life just like you. im not fuckn super lady. i cant please everyone. i cant even be fully happy sometimes. i mean, i deserve to be happy right? but i know thats not how it works. you may not realize it, but i need you to be there for me too... im tired...

ice palace

today got ready to go my cousins bday party. nicole came over and we all went to ice palace. hmm... it was fun i guess lol. nicole didnt know how to skate well taahaha jk. but yeah. oh yeah ! nicole spotted a "cute" guy right? so then we kept following uhm somehow. id make trouble telling her to fall down so that the guy can help her stand back up ! ahah. she never like tho. before we left guess what we found out? nicole found out that the guy was femenim or gay? idk she said she could tell by his walk and the way he acted toward the workers. cuz he kissed them on the cheeks? idk haha. nah but it was funny tho ;P then after that, cole stayed over my house for awhile. we went to jacks and sevens. bought something. now im full. she left hours ago. now i have to finish homework damn it ! haha.

pics of the day:

Brits bday party

so in the night i get a text from sherry. she asked me if i was going to go brits bday party. i totally forgot that it was today, i thot it was tomaro lols. but yeah good she reminded me ! tahaha. then, i told them i couldnt go cuz i never had ride. but, brit and her dad came to my rescue and took me over there. thank you :) i didnt wanna bother them but thats okay, at least im there tee hee. but yeah, happy bday brit bess. what alliteration? hmm.. i felt kinda shame cuz i came late. but i felt okay after. then kaila came laterr. she felt the same as me, cuz she came late too, i think? lols. dad came around almost 10 to pick me up. kaila caught a ride with me and we said our byes to brit. it was good that i went :)

pics from party:

ohhh man...

today got a call :) then went back to sleep, then woke up to get ready for school. periods went by fast, which is good. bleh its the LAST week of ending school early :( aww mon wend and fri finish school around 3? frick ! haha. okay so then lunch came. went to pick up a pass. took his pass. then he called and like he made me walk up the stairs again just to give him his pass? frick haah. acted like i wasnt there? gah wha a meanie' well period four, went straight to class then auditorium for the assembly. ho was cool being alone with <3 and a friend. tahahaha. nah but then complications came in ! damn it. we got a big class :) but sometimes helping ushering them into their seats was so damn irritating ! fck, try being in our position so dont judge. the day before that we didnt reherese cuz everyone was busy! but yeah, council members tried their best. i mean, i wish the rest of the class of 2012 cooperated more. i felt no spirt in the auditorium. its sad, i really dont want this sophomore class to like follow the footsteps of a sophomore who doesnt care about school. hope things get better soon ! i really hope we win spirit stick again this year. oh wells just gotta try our best. btw, the council members dont do what we do for the heck of it, we do it because we wanna participate and get involve. so if you think were just waisting your time then thats YOUR problem. dont complain about us ;(

picture of the day: sara and i after the assembly. sad but still smiling :)

A day of high school,

Today, <3 called in the morning. so early, but thats okay hahah. then i went back to sleep and then got ready to go school. after that i went over to tiffs house and bowrrowed her top. next, went over to coles house because she needed my belt lols. later went school, hung out with <3 :) haha he likes to make trouble. still fun. period one goes by fast. recess too. then period two, then three, then yay its lunch ahah. fun i guess? took peetures. i still feel like a damn freshmen ;( thats okay thaah. i have to get used to being a SOPHOMORE :) hehe. uhm then period four came. and yeah day pau.

pics of the day:

Another day of high school,

woah today was kina intense for me? lmfao. so, today i woke up early. i wake up early now since he told me its better than wasting your time sleeping lols ? so lame yeah? hah jk. anyways, brought my balloons to give to britnay :) her birthday was today. went to school with only how many minutes left for me to greet her ? haha but its okay i made it in time tee hehe. my homie took awful pics ! jus keeding ;P so, as i was walking to period one, saw him carrying something. bleh :/ made me sad frick seriously ! but, i wasnt about to assume shet cuz he told me not to. so the whole time of period one, i was thinking and waiting for the damn time to pass ! recess came, saw him, gave him the look but he understood how i felt i guess already. asked him some questions and he seemed innocent? lols. then came period two, and three. OMG MATH ! alg two, killin me brah ! i gotta carry a book now ? keeding me :( blehh that sucks as hell lmao. hmm lunch came around. talked to him. then went into lunch line. then all of a fuckn second i see dakine standing besides uhm? so its left to my head to think anykind. bleh i hate that feeling suuuper much ! but, i had to fake a smile because i didnt want to share that vibe with my friends lols. well after school came, the only time of my day that made me feel better, seriously :) talked a lot with uhm. looser doesnt have a fone now so i have to ask uhm straight foward ahah. then yeah all good ^___^ i like to vent on blogspot haha.

happy birthday britnay ann :)

First day of sophomore year

today i woke up early. then got ready and went over to nicoles place. ms.nicole here took awhile to be able to know what shes going to wear today lmfao. when she got done we went to school, met up with tiff and her friend. i wore yellow today :) tee hee i so bright ahha. anyways, i got to see love today. i got hugs and kisses :P hehe. then the bell rang and went straight to period one.
period one is an okay class. got some friends in it so i dont think imma worry about that class. teachers okay i guess haha. recess, only couple moments with him :( period two, is a good class ;D a lot of freinds in it hehe. i hope the teacher doesnt become to strict. btw, whats cool about this honors english class is that we use blogger as an assingment thingy ! lols. then went to period three. UGHH ! this class i worry about, its alg 2 T_T i have some friends in it but like i get nervouse in that class. i needa work hard in this class, no keeed haha. hmm lunch was boring T_T he didnt hang with me, i guess he wanted to spend time with his own friends. hmm i guess i gotta get use to the fact im not that... ahh nevermind i dont want to think of it lol. anyways, took some pics and we were @ waymans again. bleh ;/ period four, yay another elective :) i like this class, but then theres a lot of trouble makers ! i swear how am i gonna pay attention? haha jk. but i hope it turns out well that class, i look foward to ending the day with meals ! lmfao. so thats it, hope tomaro is better than today? i feel kina idk ahah. bye :)

heres pics:

last day of 09 summer [aug 2]

today i woke up around 10. got ready. left the house around 11 something. ma' picked up tiff and nicole and dropped us off at aloha tower. we went cruizn around there taking pictures like a tourist teehee :) after that we went over to ala moana. i returned my bag and baught a new bag with the money i got from returning my bag lols. next we went off to waikiki. woah a lotta places? haha. we ate at taco bell. people kept staring o.O freaky haha. then we went take pics at uhm apple store. later we went walking towards walls. then stopped at starbucks. nicole and i bought some drinks then we left to go back to ala moana. @ala moana we met up with tiffs fam and they dropped off me and nicole to nicoles place. after that, nicoles ma' dropped me off home. as i was at home, nicole and i tweaked on comp and yeah. she left long time ago. and now i just got pau uploading pics on myspace. now im blogging. so school tomaro, and i havent gotten ready my stuff yet. woah gonna sleep at 11 i think ? babe didnt call today ? probally tired ;( wells, byee. nights ! im so tired bleh :/ haha. school here i come. sophomore year :)

heres some pics from today :

080109

-hey blogging again cuz yeah :) -

today woke up early cuz he called tee hee. talked over things and i felt relived after. good start to start off my day. set my mood of being happy :D

anyways, we went to ewa side to a swimming pool place. was good i guess. i actually finished my food this time ! lmfao. hmm my half sister made shave ice for us. sister went swimming for like couple minutes. haha i couldnt swim because i freakin had my period damn it :( piss me off. ahah so i just went tanning ! lmfao was hot thats why and i wanted for get dark ? i too white ? haha jk. but yeah. after that daddys grandsons which are my nephews came over to our table to play with. hehe their so cute. savian and tj are awesome. savians such a troobo maker ! haha. first time i got to be able to be with them for a while. i wonder what other people thought of cuz my dad is also someone elses dad o.O lmfao. anyways thats off story ! so main point, i thought i would get bored but naw, was okay i guess ;) btw it was too windy their ! lols but better than feeling so hot in the sun ahah.

heres some pics :

the way you make me feel

seriously, i thought everything was going to fall apart. yesterday, i realized how insecure i can be towards you. but, you make a point, i shouldnt have been. im sorry for making you so worried about me being so worried. i dont want this to happen again, but i know we all go through this kind of crap. but im glad your that kind of person that doesnt take all the blame on me. you had some wrong but i had some wrong too. and im thankful we can just realize it instead of arguing. you told me assuming makes an ass with you and me. and your right. thanks for teaching that to me. i just wanna say im sorry for being so hypocrytical too, cuz your right. i really dont want to be that girl that assumes too much. ill always go to you when i have these problems, your always there for me and i know it. i dont want you to think that im gonna leave just because of these tiny problems, because im not. im sorry for making it a big deal, but i couldnt help but think about it. your a kind person, and not everyone sees that in you. im glad i can be that person you always go to. im thankful im even yours. you made me realize not everyones perfect and to accept things how they already are. i know your trying to improve and thanks for doing that. im surprized that you dont yell at me not like the rest. and i feel so special everytime you do this to me. others might think im weird, but you know what IDGAF! im wierd your weird and thats why i love you. everyday, i think about this, about you. i know you wont read this because your not a tweaker on the comp. tahaha. i fell for the way you are when your with me, and dont change that. your the only one that i truley feel this way so i care too much thats why i acted like that. i have hope with me all the time... your the only guy that treated me this way, thank you.