third day of homecoming week

hmmm..
today lunch was class color day.
sophomores got thrid place.

whats funny is that seniors and sophomores always go at it ? why lmfao.
cuz we got class spirt ;)

anyways, afteerschool. damn it.
our practice was even better then our actual peformance.
we got last. OUR SONG DESEERVED BETTER
F***N PEOPLE RUINED IT.
WHY YOU GUYS COME TO THE ACTUAL DAY WHEN YOU NEVER COME PRACTICE.
So errking that kine. MESS US UP. we shoulda went with the people who actually knew the fuckn song by heart. AND TO YOU PEOPLE who werent in SYNC with us, gahh ruined our spirt.
i mean we was all hyped up but frick i guess that the less is better.
hopefully next year is not like this.

and YOU, gah i cant belive you dont know me. i cant belive you dont know what to do. i cant belive that weve known each other for so long and been together that you still dont know how to act. seriously, you add soo much saddness. i mean like when will you realize that im the real deal. gah. i always put up with your crap. i wish you would understand.

and TO ADD to all my F***N stress is that during dance practice, i seen seniors.
wth ? our dance is sooo similliar to theres ;( tear. i mean like i broke down. i couldnt take it anymore. and I WISH YOU WERE BY MY SIDE, but your friends are worth your time then me. you dont show it so thats what i am left to belive.

OMG im not even done with my career essay. stupid business. why dont we learn business not our fuckn career in the future that mite not even be business ;( ughhh *

im sooo tired at the moment. if tomaro we win something, ill be better...
so hopefully 2012 gets better tomaro.

Banner Parade

was today !!!
guess who won????

hmm... SOPHOMORES CLASS OF 2012 !!!
last year as freshmens we won banner parade too !!!! tahaha
cant wait till next year ! lmfao.

so funny, seniors and sophomores were like going at it bah !
but thats how much we have class spirit ;)
suppper prouuud of 2012
just hope we can keep it up for the next two years !

welll, for heavy weights we got third :( babe told me were suppose to have second? hmm.
kina unfair tho heavy weights day. thats okay i guess.

afterschool today, song practice ! omg so little the crew now? err kina dissapointed but you kno wwhat, better than nothing. singing wore my throat but it got better later lmfao. i guess we just gotta pray that sophomores dont get last lols. im suuuper worried man !

hmmm... what else to say? wow i really miss you. today was like only seeing you for couple of seconds never having to be with you for a long period of time. i guess im the busy one this time or is it you not trying?!?!

pics and vids up soon.

homecoming

weeek started today !

today was heavy weights. i dont know what place we got cuz people telling me this and that. bah i worried. i want 2012 to have class spirt !!!!!

tomaro is banner parade. i cant wait ;)

afterschool practice for dance was good. it came with some drama but whatever, what done is done. we need to just know what to do till friday ! ahhh ! lols pep rally omg !

anyways, song practice? woah dissapointed. like its deterioating ! wtf ! it used to be an abundance but now look ! ughh wedenesday is song contest ! and like tomaro is tuesday ! hopefully everyone comes tomaro? errr ;(

ughhh, you always think that by joking you think that i not gon take uhm seriously. you know me already and you still treat me like that. ughh yesterday you made my day, today you made it worst. im so fuckn "squirly" to you ???!

being ironic again...

you tell me you love me.
as i tell you i love you.
you question me, saying how i dont love you.
i say "what you think i dont love you i do i do"
so i ask the same thing to you "what about you"
and he said of course i love you why else would i call up to just say good morning :)

but in the end, its ironic how YOU think i dont love you,
because i show my love for you everyfucknday.
what about you ?

however, i just wish youd do this more often.
to be able to call me at anytime anymoment just for me...

im still waiting, because i know one day youll realize what your doing.

TAYONG DALAWA

I love that show. i didnt watch the begining but i started to like it eversince the middle part. Gerald Anderson, Jake Cuenca, and Coco Martin are all hotties :) i loved seeing their faces and omg yeah. i wish i could meet a person like them LMFAO! anyways, this show taught me a lot. i fell in love with the story line and the characters. some characters pissed me off, but hey thats what makes the freakin show interesting right?! but anywho, im thankful i understand what the show is talking about even if it is in filipino. this show was worth my time. i wish i watched everyshow, but i was busy err.

i learned that all you need in life is someone to be there for you. it doesnt matter who it is, all it matters is that they love you. its the key to life. people do wrong things, and of course they need to pay for it back, so when they want a better life, something was taken away from them. even a person who was kind and loving, their life could be taken away from you. but, god isnt just going to end it like that. theirs a reason they had you met that person. and theirs a point of it all. you loose some, and then you gain some. thats just how the cycle go. learning to accept that pride isnt everything, money isnt everything, and being alone is not healthy.

the way i wanted this to end was that... Jr and Audrey would live happily with their baby named Adrian. Dave would find someone else to love instead of Audrey. Dave, Jr, and Ramone would get along as brothers with the same mother. Daves other mother who adopted dave went to prison. Ramone would still be with Greta and he would be in prison while Greta's baby didnt die and was still there with them. Oh and lola getts would still be there with the whole sha bam fam bam. THATS how i wanted it to END.

but, thats not how it happend. its okay tho, it was good. i mean you cant please everyone with a happy ending. it gotta teach us a lesson so that was good. made me cry tho when fuckn daves other mother shot ramone and ramone became blind..... errrr. but im glad ramone, jr, dave, thier real mom merlya[sp] and baby adriam live good as a family. but shee, i got confused at the ending? is there another Tayong Dalawa?!?!? lmfao.

horoscope of the day

"Don't let negative thinking get you down�criticism for its own sake is a waste of time. Lack of confidence can take the wind out of your sails, so believe in yourself even when others don't. Sail straight and true through the currents of self-doubt and ignore the sometimes jealous remarks of others who would see you give up. Small, multiple moves are favored over big leaps, they mount up and you go just as far."

that is my horescope of the day. i decided to post it up on blog because its true. i mean like yeah sure people wanna see me fail, but im not gonna let that happen. im just gonna do it my way and have fun with it. i have to try and take small steps rather then big ones that way i wont miss anything ;) tahaha.

awww

your screensaver on your itouch is our picture :D
tee hee that made my day.

anyways, today was tiring.
school school school.
then practice practice practice.

i really hope everything going to work out.
i seriously dont want to see us crashing down as class 2012
i wish that whatever were doing is gonna be worth it
i know were competetive, thier cometetive. so we should suck it up and do our best.

lmfao. my head is not creative lately because to much crap from school to memorize. that makes it harder to create moves... errrr.
PLUS some people no even SHOW up to at Least ONE damn practice.
not our faults that they dont like the move or dont know how.
they should know what they gotten into and start participating.
gahh piss me off. you shoulda told us ur not in it so we can find others that already come to practices....

its so ironic

LMFAO. i was complaining how you dont call anymore that i cant be able to tell you anything anymore. i was not expecting anything from you at all.

after i cried it all out, i sleep on it.

then i hear the song "statue by lil eddie"
i set that ringtone for you. and i was like MY mind is tricking me.
(remember im still sleeping at this point)
so i check my phone and it was your name !
and i immediately answer it :)

horoscope told me
"You may have a hard time maintaining a comfortable level of emotional detachment today if you acknowledge how much you like someone. You want to share your feelings, but could be afraid of exposing your vulnerability as you worry about being rejected. Your approach-avoidance dilemma raises long-standing relationships issues. Be patient; you won't receive answers to all your questions right away."

i didnt belive it because i doubt that id get a chance to speak to you.
but it was right, i explain about my feelings but not all of it.
i guess i have to be patient because i aint gettin answers to everything at the very moment.

i hate

that its not your ringtone or your name on my phone that i answer.
that i have to depend on others for help because your not there
that im not a priority
that i can cry infront of others and not infront of you
that you dont know everything about me
that i dont know everything about you
that they doubt what you do
that they assume what were about
that they just judge
that i dont get enough time with you
that your always busy
that im the person that can have there green monster come out
that im the person that is always concerned
that im not strong enough without you
that i miss you
that i care about you
that i cant let you go even if i know the fuckn truth
that i love you...

hospital 091909

woke up early today. because mom had to leave to go hospital. so i kissed her and told her i love her like i always do. then i went back to sleep. i dreamt wierd dreams, but maybe its making me realize things :) tahaha. anyways, got ready to go hospital before nicole comes. then when they came dad took us all to hospital to wait for mom to come from her operation.... its personal... anyways, we thought she was gonna come out early. but she didnt. to help time past by cole and i remenince about things. i called my hommie, and hommie prayed for my ma'. it was very heartfull and i appreciated it. then all of a sudden i broke down. thinking about my wierdo again. somehow i couldnt concentrate today, all i thought about was him. that looser. haha. first time in a long time i cried about uhm. you may not understand why, but its hard to explain. i mean you have to sit with me and listen to all my stories to be able to see where im at with all of this. dont assume shet because you dont know my story... ANYWAYS, music helped past time, ohh and EATING, cole and i were like eating at the cafe and haah. my sis complained bout me using the itouch to much ahah. well then after mom came out. i was scared, but doc said shes fine. and i was all glad to see her. but i still feel sad that shes going through this kind of crap again fck. but i belive that god wouldnt give anything to anyone for no reason. my mom is the strongest mother i know. and i love her so much that i dont know what i would do without her like seriously, im glad i have her.... shes not home yet, coming tomaro i guess.

supposingly a special day

yeah, its the 18 day of the month. woke up all excited, dressed for success (inside joke*). came school early thinking id spend time with you. but then, as the time was ticking i didnt see you. as the bell rang you came along, but you were to late. wow, that settled my mood.
recess, you show up. im all glad. you reminded me what today was. me being speechless. then you leave... never having enough time... then its muah and off to classes.
lunch, i surprisingly saw you. you say nothing, so i say nothing. you were with your friend i was to. what am i to you? im guessing your friend is more important that i am. i let it go, thinking you were coming upstairs as usual, but i wait and i didnt see you.
after school, song practice is important so i stay. thinking you were coming as you did before, but no. i tried to not expect anything, but i suck at doing that. your suppose to at least be there, but i dont think i ever poped inside your head at the moment.
im sorry for feeling like this, but its not my fault, its yours.

im not gonna expect anything anymore out of you, for i is thy bess. thou shall not treat me thy way... i dont even know if im important to you anymore... and to hear that your gonna join another sport or whatever activity, makes me feel dissapointed. How Are You Gonna Make The Time for me....

letting out

everything to you was hard. i mean i knew what i wanted to say, but its so hard to explain it to you when the clock was ticking. you came late, so that gave me about a minute to explain how i felt. i was really sad this morning eversince yesterday. so as i explained things to you, i bet that i left some parts out. i just said a summary. tahah. but, i guess you got the picture? hopefully you understood me. i hope you can learn from what i told you...

period one, KRYSTAL haah if your reading this HI :) tahah so funny. you know i blogg too much. and no i wont say bad things about you guys lols.
period two, OMG i love the story that were reading in that class. its so old greek but like its so deep and controversal! like how the man married the mother and had kids with her and killed his dad. BUT, he DOESNT know that that has happend. (its a prophecy that he does). you gotta read it to understand what im talking bout lmfao.
period three, i cant belive that math goes by the fastest for me. its cuz i think everything we do might be hard so i make sure i understand what is being taught. i think algebra two is easier then geometry ! lols.

LUNCH, rehearsals ! song contest, NEW song. hopefully i can memorize it :) i know i can, i know we all can. we just gotta be serious. ughh i hate it when people join and then they no come, maybe only once in a while. so FYL tahaha jus keeding mayn. i realize that class of 2012 goes through so much, and like we go through a lot of misshappenings, but then again i belive that its all ment to be that something better will prove to us that we can do this :)

period four, today we made the pizza batter. tomaro making pizza YAY mhmm i cant wait :) i always look foward to ending school with this class. especially i get funny people in that class.

after school, song practice. learnign the new song :) its preety good. we just gotta keep our head in it instead of worryin about freshmens or juniors or seniors? mhmm....

dissapointment

today started out as normal as usual? recess i asked one little favor, for you to wait for me during lunch. then the time comes, you forget me. errr.... and then what at lunch ? you act like im a fuckn toy like you think that i wont get mad. you dont realize how much it fuckn hurts. ily so much and you treat me like that. i know you do to but you dont even show it...
OH and seeing you afterschool just talking to others" like that makes me feel kina stupid, did you even notice that im there? do i need to watch you do that? fck i dont even do that to you. i wish the green monster didnt live in me but i cant help it, and you dont even understand it. fck. sometimes i feel like you dont even care what my feelings are... after school pissed me off, shet i thot we had the auditorium, come to find out, we come looking ashamed thinking we could practice our class song their. and you gotta shove it in my face? fck i can face the facts you dont need to repeat it. you saw how mad i was and you think a simple muah could fix it? you should feeel bad... not even realizing the crap i go through in life... you dont even know crap anymore.... why do i deserve this... sometimes you make me feel happy but then theres always times you make me mad.

these days...

today woke up went to school as usual.
i feel glad that your actually putting some effort. i seen her today, lucky the green monster didnt come out of me ahah. i was calm, as i learned to be. anyways, classes are good fun to me. yeah it bores me sometimes but then again i like my semester one classes. semester two classes are what i worry about but, hey just live up the good fun duirng the first semester lmfao.
my day goes by so fast that i didnt even notice. i think it goes by fast because i make sure i have something to look foward later on in my day ;) hehe.

lunch was good, but some people piss me off. i swear was i the only speaking up? i wish people would just listen, but NO they wanna have it their way. They were the ones who gave time to create this and you guys have the nerve to try and change everything else when you havent given a damn time into writing the song or even freakin listen to the whole song. You guys complain and complain when its already finish. gah how can this be so hard, just follow and participate, thats just the way it goes. opinions were needed long ago, where were you?! people dont understand how others work so hard and then for others to tell them what to do because they wont participate is kind of low spirited. so i suggest that it isnt our fault, you shouldve been there from the start. this is just how i feel, dont take it personally. im thanful for the ones who actually was there every after school helping out create the song, i dont know what would happen if it wasnt for them ;)

anyways, after i left song practice, i went dentist at kapolei. doctor put some braces inside teeth. haha complicated to understand, but i need to wear rubberbands everytime again?! ughh. but its okay hopefully it all works out after a month so i can take them braces off ;D hehe.

having fun

at my homies birthday party. i went around four i think. dad let me hhaha. but i could tell he was thinking things, like how dads will :( hah anyways, i felt shame at first. i knew mostly everyone there at the party, but as the persona as i am i was quite. i sat watching them play games. then we ate. good food. then after everyone sat in a circle and talk stories and idk it was just funny. i kept laughing, my stomach was hurt even the rest of them ahaha. after that started like drizziling or gettin bored so we all went inside to eat cake. sang happy birthday to vince. then after we all went in the room again i think? watched people play games. i was playing with my itouch with others. cool i gotten to know some people ! hehe. and then afterwards i started feeling more comfortable around them. cuz they funny thats why ahaha. later everyone decieded to watch movies, fuckn funny the movie. the hangover. i never even really understand some parts haha. but yet it was good somehow. bah the room was so overcrowded. i felt closterphobic haha. legs touching others feet in peoples faces. haha just keeds. anyways, after that i think we all walked to sevens to get ice. then after we all talked stories again. i felt happy because i never feel left out. then some of us had to leave. we took pictures. was kina hectic when we had to take pics of the guys ! lmfao. when i went home hugged everyone cuz were all friendly :) then everyone was jerking so i said join in :D tahahah i felt kina stupid. but it was a good thing. hehe.

it made me realize, you cant just judge people. just be more open and everythings gonna be alright. and just have fun till you can tahahahah ;)

school makes me tired 09/11

so today i woke up to get ready for school ahah. then pick up nicole and walk towards school. i see him and well be together for just minutes, then your off with your friends, which irritates me. but thats okay i gues? haah anyways period one test. ughh so erking longest test ?! nah but teacher kept talkin thats why. then recess. AYE you piss me off i swear. you dont notice im there, your suppose too looser ! i was super sad tha whole morning. you set my mood the rest of the day till lunch. lunch time as i go to the meeting i give my homie the rest of his present ! its actually his birthday tomaro lols. okay anyways, lunch? uhm sat by him, i realized i should cheer up a bit. he did by giving me food ahha. but, finally we had a convo again. i miss that wierdo soo much. he told me he wasnt goin meeting afterschool. wow set my mood again ... but, period four is my happy period. i get to eat in taht class ! mhmm we made chocolate filling crescents ! taste soooooo gooood :) hehe. anyways, afterschool started on banner. then surprizingly i see my wierdo ! haha i was happy again. but i had to leave to go to another meeting but i came back and yeah hehe :) after meeting, i walked with him to go home. well we actually made stops around places :P fun fun. anyways, sometimes you just make me mad, but i cant help but not be mad at you as you make me remember why i fell for you ;D thats why uoyevoli!

Another school day story,

As usual, i wake up and go to school lols. this morning was okay. i know your trying thats good. i had a test for period 3, math. it was easy but kina confusing the last problems lol. lunch started out bad. i was so mad :( but i let it go as everyone started making me laugh, and we took pictures hehe. a girl loves to take pictures?! haha so cliche ! anyways, period 4, i love that class. i love cooking and cant wait to eat tomarrow. afterschool, i was suppose to go song contest practice, but i went to vc. my homie persuaded me to go, plus its his birthday soon i dont wanna dissapoint uhm lols. anyways, victory club was cool. i mean i learned about things, and felt a bit more closer to god. it tot me how your relationship with god shouldnt decrease, but just increase. i hopefully wish i can be that person to be close to him ;) after vc, we went over to song practice, sara and i missed it but its okay theres always tomawrro. took pictures agen :) yipppeee. i love capturing the moments with people who make me smile hehe. anyways, my day started of boring, bad, then ended good.

pics from today:

i notice

that lately it hasnt been the same. its like a sorry here and there, never actually showing it. i feel like crap. even she noticed ! she asked me howcome dakine treated you nicer before now meaner ;( see i dont get your style. they tell me i can do better, but they also say oh your probally gonna be the saver. i try everyday to help you, but in the end you just dont comprehend. you should put asside your pride that you have and just focus not only school but mee too. i dont want to be that girl that you think you can do that to. cuz seriously i dont think you realize how much i care. im probally the first that actually does. you told me about your past, so i feel like wow im such the differnt one. you should learn to appreciate it. seriously... its not going to be easy but im hoping for you to mature in some way... but sometimes its like useless telling you this because i feel useless... you wont even read this because i just vent on blog. tahaha i know im wierd. no one knows but this blog and i. ;)

labor day

woke up early and got ready even if i didnt feel good. then went over to coles house. then beb called and i told him to just go and ill meet them at kams. cole and i ended up walking to kams but we were to late to catch ride wit dem so i just went wit cole and jonimar. we took bus too alas. three of us walked all the way to the other side of ala moana and to the other side of the beach. when we finally came i saw him :) but, then everything went down from that. he sees me and yells out asking if i was swiming and i said no and he yells out so useless you come beach. and that hurt me. cuz its a slap in the fuckn face for even him to tell me that. that was like oh so what if i dont swim you dont even fuckn know the whole storry of why i cant swim. im fuckn sick and i dont want to get more sick. fck you assuming. sometimes you gotta think before what you say. so three of us left to cruiz at alas. i bought a top ;) that made me happy. then afterwards we saw tiff haha. next we went just around places then went to this store that we could lay down haha. tiff came along, and we cruizd again. was tiring. then tiff went home and we went beach. i had no money already. nicole and jonimar was eating ;( haha. anyways, it was hot, then he called. shockin, told him how i felt and everything. but yet, im still sad dont know why. and then dad picked me up and i went to home depot wit him. fckn bot another fridge for grandma ughh. now im home eating. i didnt eat the whole day until now ! haha. byee ;)

headaches

woah, seriously lately ive been getting mixed vibes from my body. first, my throat was hella sore ! now my neck hurts. now its both? to add to it my head hurts tooo. mom said i have a cold. but mom also said something else.... theres something in my neck. she thinks its from a cold, but i dont know for sure. i hope i can go doctor the next time shes off. i dont know what to do. everytime i lay down my neck hurts. its like its so stiff but not really. i dont push it too far but like i try to excersize my head. today, my leg also hurts this day because my friends and i walked all over ala moana side. lmfao.

im just afraid. i hope i get better. im gonna think positive. and hoping people actually take me serious, cuz im not joking. i wouldnt lie about this...

school

lately school is been a hetic course of my life. sure it has it happy momments :) but theres too much when someone counts on you to do a lot. i mean im flattered that youd trust me. but sometimes people should understand, im not perfect, i wish i was but that wouldnt be right ! haha.

meetings everyday, sometimes things dont even get done. we set down dates for deadlines, but we end up not fulfiling it. it kinna sucks? but im just hoping that things will get better soon. that we will give it all we can. yes, im proud to be class of 2012.

yay, your putting some effort into this. i mean yeah im guessin it will take you a while to realize things. i can see you do. i try to put up with all of it. cuz youve made me stronger. you taught me how to be independent at times and not to worry. i trust you and caree too much now. you may be stubborn, but its okay. i just hope one day youll realize that jealousy is always gonna be there in a person, no matter what you do you cant expect me not to be. one day youll realize this and we'll switch rolls? tahaha.